Ramblings From the Dark: Why Women are Evil (aka Why Cops Suck)

Well, to set up this lovely little tale I will first discuss our hero/victim, Dan. Dan was the wistful type, a real believer in true love. While his first relationship had worked out rather poorly, he decided to continue his search for true love, and he believed he had found it during his first year at college. Shortly into the first semester he had brought a girl home one night after a party since she was too trashed to go back to her own room alone. Lets call her Horrible Monsterous Evil Lasher, or Lasher for short. Anyway, the next morning she seduced him, and being the silly romantic fool he was, he promptly decided that it must be love. After many tortuous months of agony over her seemingly total disregard for him, (during which they had become engaged and then broken up many many times) they decided to rent an apartment together, or rather they had decided to live together and Dan would rent the apartment. This was the start of Dan's 3rd year in college. (though he was not in school at the time, having had to get a full time job during the school year in order to pay for the expensive habit of trying to win her love)

At the time it had seemed like a good idea, but he couldn't afford the apartment by himself, so he inlisted the aid of an old friend named Tanya. Now Tanya was ready to do anything to help her to friends and readily agreed. Tanya and Dan signed the lease together, and Lasher didn't, since she did not want to have financial responsibility for the apartment, and also because if Dan's parents ever found out they would disown him. Then, before they had even moved in to their new apartment, trouble broke out. Lasher imediately began to bitch and fight with both Dan and Tanya. Dan, though often agreeing with Tanya, always tried to side with his lost love, Lasher. As the months dragged on, Tanya grew more and more removed from the other two, in an effort to avoid the screaming matches that arose whenever they were together, while Lasher did everything in her power to try to make Tanya's life miserable, so that she would leave and Lasher would have more of the apartment to herself. Dan did his best to keep them together however, since he knew that he could never afford to keep the apartment on his own, and that Lasher would never help him even though she had a full time job and made even more than he did. Then he seemed to at last be getting through to Lasher when his parents informed him that it was time for his semi-yearly visit.

Now Dan didn't really like to spend time with his parents, but he knew that they were already not providing his housing and that they would not give him anything at all if he did not go to them. So, against all Lasher's pleas and threats, he left for Christmas break to visit his parents in the Philipines. While there, he did nothing but think about her, and how he missed her. He bought her many gifts while there in hopes of apeasing her when he returned. But alas it would not be. Upon his return, he gave her the gifts, which she took while yelling at him. She beraided him for leaving her with alone Tanya. She was furious that he hadn't cared about her enough to ignore his parents. And she certainly did not care that he would have lost all financial support if he hadn't gone. At last Dan rethought his hopes of regaining her love.

Many months before, he and his ex-roommate Mick had gotten into a fight because Mick had said that Lasher was going to make Dan miserable. Dan had called Mick an asshole and they had parted ways with that. But now Dan began to realize at last that his dear friend Mick had been correct when he had said that Lasher didn't care about him one bit and was only with him for her own selfish purposes. Like the light of a new dawn, understanding spread through Dan, and over the next few months, he drew away from Lasher. For a brief period he even dated his old girlfriend Ann from highschool, but he broke up with her shortly, after being unable to remove the thoughts of how Lasher had used him. Dan, morose and lonely, finally decided that Lasher should stop her freeloading. When he went to talk to her about it, she erupted in fury, but unlike previous fits, this time she could not provoke Dan into changing his mind. Her yelling and pleading and crying no longer had any effect on his jaded and broken heart.

He gave her an ultimatum, one week. But when the time came, he couldn't go through with it, but still he insisted she leave at the end of the semester, which was now three weeks away. She fought and fought for the next week, and then she stopped suddenly and sent him an email with the message, Well, fine, you want to be a jerk about it, then remember who started this. He got no further argument from her. It seemed that she had at last relegated herself to leaving on that Monday. But it was simply not so.

On Saturday, he took Tanya out to eat to apologize for forcing her to live in such horrid conditions, and upon their return he found that Lasher was busy in the apartment moving out. She had gone through the house collecting anything she liked of his, and piling it up on the floor of her room. A few things here, some things from the kitchen, some things out of his desk.. his three favorite CDs and more she had stacked in the center of her room. The naive Dan was truly shocked. How could she do this?

He went to her and asked her why she was taking his things. She looked at him once, turned and started to close her door. He stuck out his foot to block the door and asked her again. She turned around, looked at him again, and lunged at him, punching biting and tearing at his hair. He reeled backwards, and fell to the floor. Tanya hearing the commotion rushed into the room and started trying to defend Dan. Dan struggled a moment, and then broke free. He ran to his room and called 911. He reported to them that there was a woman in his apartment who had attacked him when he had asked her why she was stealing all of his things. They said they would send an officer over right away. The breathless Dan went downstairs and waited.

Sure enough, only a minute had passed when up walked an officer and asked what had happened. Dan once again told the police, There is a woman in my apartment who is stealing my things. She is not on the lease and has no right to be there, although I did allow her to stay with me once. When I asked her why she was stealing my things she attacked me and my roommate. The police officer nodded and went upstairs. He found Lasher sitting in her room, crying with a bit of blood coming from her lip where she had bit it. He looked over Dan and Tanya, and then announced that Lasher could take everything in the room she was in, but nothing else. Dan was horrified and asked why she could do this when it wasn't even her apartment. The police officer said, well, she says the stuff is hers. This did not seem to make sense to Dan, but he couldn't find anything to say to the officer except that his parents could confirm that many of the things were his, including a number of christmas presents. Dan was acting very calm during this time, but Lasher was crying and screaming and jumping up and down. The officer shook his head and said that it didn't matter. Then Lasher's new boyfriends mother showed up, and asked the police how he could let me do that to Lasher. So the police officer said, Ok, I guess we'll go down to the station. He then cuffed the ever calm Dan (to the total disbelief of both Dan and Tanya) and escorted all three to the station. He had them file complaints against eachother, and said that if they didn't then the state would file complaints against them. Rather than go to jail, Dan and Tanya decided to drop the charges if Lasher would also drop her charges against them, which she did. But this was fine with Lasher anyway, since she got to keep everything she had already collected. She, who had turned her own mother into the police for theft, had suffered no punishment at all for her crimes.

This is a prime example of why cops suck. They would not lift a finger to help Dan and Tanya were the only ones on the lease, and in fact had them arrested for defending themselves, and had let Lasher take everything she wanted out of the house. Lasher herself has been reported to have told people that I attacked her and demanded that she give me things of hers. However, if one were to ask Dan's family about certain items no longer in Dan's possession, they would find out that, yes that was a gift from his sister or that was a gift from his mother. It seems unlikely that his family could be so confused as to be able to identify the items as his without having heard this story unless they truly were his things. And to this date he has not told his family, from shame at not listening to them when they had warned him that she was not as nice as he thought.

This is one example of why women are evil, and why Dan won't let himself be committed to any woman anymore.